Waterloo: New HughEMC video

Fuck trying to be perfect.....

I like many people have a habit of beating my self up. Its amazing all of the negative thoughts we can muster against ourselves. Lately i've been trying to counteract the negative thoughts with positive affirmations. Also ive sat back and reflected on why I am so hard on my self. I am a high achiever. I have high goals set for my self and I hold my self to rediculously high standards. Ive told my self I need to stop doing this. I need to stop holding my self to this "SuperMan" standard. At my age I find it amazing Im continueing to grow. I guess that is a good thing but one kinda thinks that after you've passed 3 decades of existance on Earth you should be in a Swami/Guru all enlightned mind set,then again thats me with that extremely high bar set. I've heard Oprah say she really did'nt have a grip on it all untill she was 42. If thats the case I've got a few years to go before I reach enlightenment. The good thing about the way I push myself is that I keep striving and the work I do do is of high quality.The bad thing is the way I beat my self up when I fumble or fall. Its not that I make the same mistakes persay but lately I've fumbled in areas that I realy should have been more proactive in dealing with. I've fumbled in areas that I know better. Its a trip how life is. All we can do is keep struggling. Keep pushing & continue to grow. I guess if we are lucky we will never stop growing.

Why Blacks Dont TIP?

This is in responce to RK Byers take on the whole why Blacks dont tip phenomena...

Man RK is so faaaaarrr fuggin left feild its unbelievable. RK tried to get a little to deep,a little to analytical with is reasoning behind blacks not tipping. 1st of all I tip all of the time and I tip well. This is because I am aware of the stereotype that we do not tip. In my analysis the primary reasons many Black people do not tip are:
A.) Many Blacks are poor and or come from economically impoverished back grounds. White,Black,Brown,etc,Poor people don't tip.
B.) Many Blacks still have that "Whitey owes me something" attitude and this transfers over into the whole not- tipping phenom.
C.) This last reason ties into the 1st. Due to Blacks economical impoverishment culturally we have not been taught to tip and we look upon people in the service industry as simply doing their job. Why would you tip someone for doing their job? This is the logic.


RK Byers should be ashamed of even considering self hate has anything to do with the "Blacks not tipping" phenom. Im reading Byers take on this and Im like "wow" "really? Brother man is way off target on this one. What I will agree with is that Blacks on a whole need to learn the etiquette of tipping. Its the thing to do. When i receive bad service i do the same as Byers spoke of doing, I leave a obviously small tip in protest to the terrible service but I all ways tip.

On todays music n ebonics

This was a comment i posted on Face Book...i felt i was droppin' sum real shyt so i have reposted it here.

Man u gotta love Davey's timeline...i beleive in using ebonics to teach standard english. you gotta meet a kid where they are at just as one would use spanish to teach an immigrant latino english ("Happy Cinco De Mayo" by the way) Also languauge is constantly influx. This is even more so true today. What is slang or ebonics now may become accepted ... See Moreas standard english in the future-ie: paddywagon-formerly a insult used towards Irish Americans,currently the word for a police wagon. As for radio's play list I am a MC a MC who uses explicit vocab & my music is for adults. certain things should not be aired during primetime & early hours..it just should'nt

Poem:
1000 loves

My mind races...
a 1000 loves flooding through my mental gates.
My hart flutering,pounding as it did so long ago...
In my old age & wisdom i know enuff to be happy
I know enuff to be happy for simlply feeling this sensation
This jolt of elation
this giddy burst of infatuation..
1000 loves race through my mind and i stand perplexed
how could she still move me in such a way
I smile and look skyward as if to mutter a prayer but the words"it is'nt fair" fall from my lips
"It is'nt fair" that i should be stirred after so long
but this is a utterance in vain I know
for love is rarely fair
matters of the hart never rational
Love is a force of nature...
it strikes as quickly a lighting
causes the hart to pound as loudly as thunder
and can dissapear just as quickly as the storms flash
the gods aflect me with these thorns of passion
my eyes water as if to weep
my sighs are heavy..like the heaving of the ocean tide.
how can such a wonderous feeling be so bitter sweet? Read more: http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=33578160&blogId=533668924#ixzz0mgGePYSG

Rest In Peace Serene Matriarch

Out of the blue today I got a call from my son. A call that i feel his mother should have made. On December the 14th my son lost the 2nd matriarch in his life. Im at work as I write this. I can feel my self projecting the somber mood I am feeling. I am saddened on several levels. One is that i will miss that witty lady. She was an African American that spoke with the most proper diction. The 2nd is that my son must endure yet another lost of a positive female in his life. His mother is lacking in so many areas. Evidence of this is the fact she had my 16 year old son call to tell me that "her" mother died. The 3rd is that i feel she instructed him to lie to me about the funeral. He told me that their would be no service. Either this is a lie or its is yet another example of the emotional shallowness she possesses. I wouldn't care if my mother requested that their would be no service i would do so not only to honor her memory but to allow her loved ones to pay their respects and process their own pain. In my ex-mother in laws death old feelings are dredged up. I feel I have abandoned my son to be raised by a she-wolf. How can I correct or make amends for this? Life is chaotic. I had spoken to my sons grandmother a few weeks ago. We found common ground in discussing her daughters numerous faults. Not to be petty but it felt good to have someone such as she validate much of what i have for so long. I can chuckle a little in reminisce of that conversation. In memory of Stephanie Goerhig I have written this short poem:


Your stature was petite
yet when speaking all heard your tall intellect
I know you and your daughter warred on much
and there was much cruelty in your dealings with each other.
I loved and respected you none the less
I remember you teaching me skilled games of chance
you taught me how to bluff and when to throw my chips all in
I now imagine you and my mother in the same celestial state
in divine wisdom watching over us all.
my hart is weak with sadness
my brow heavy with grief
You will be missed my lady
you will be missed
Rest in Peace my Serene Matriarch

Life In The Game-Rico Brandi

Man I normally blog via MySpace but recently my homie Judah Irie (whom I've allwayz called by his personal nick name to me-General Leslie (pronounced as if spoken in Spanish) sent me a text with the web site http://www.ricobrandi.com/ . Rico is a old friend of mine. Rapper,Playa and a Pimp, Rico achieved in the game what is the equivalent of a MA and or Doctorate in the square world. Sadly my folkz was shot and paralyzed several weeks ago. Reading his blogs is what has prompted me to start my own. So I can follow his progress and give him what support I can. Unfortunately I have not been able to visit him. I've dealt the situation where the homie has been shot and the police will only allow family to visit and even know their location in the hospital. They put you under a pseudonym that only the family knows. That's cool I more than understand this. I hope the homie recovers quickly and regains his ability to walk. I've supported two homies thru rehab. The homie Marvelous who now walks well hindered only by a slight "playa's" limp and the homie Falo who is still combined to his chair. Perhaps Falo's injuries where to great but I also believe he could have gone much harder during his rehab phase. Go hard Rico Go Hard. The Game is a muthafucka. Especially now today. There is no more honor amongst thieves. The underworld is in chaos and snitches abound. Trust me if the Game was the same as it was in the mid 80's to early 90's i'd still be in it. Deep than a muthafugga. The shyt that happened to Rico is proof of this. Things are hard in Cali...niggaz is hungry and the scandalous reign supreme. I've seen to many real niggaz at war with each other or get taken out by suckaz. Yeah man them suckaz is deep. They walk talk and look like you and me but their actions expose them as less than solid individuals. At this tyme in my life im up against it financially. The streets are calling me every day but I let things such as Rico's tragedy,the homie Tab Doe's getting wrapped up and the former homie Pook (and im talkin about the Pook from down the way-he nolonger considered from the Jectz and never was a OCP memeber))turning snitch and sending alot of my real homies to the feds for long bids act as a warning to me. I'ma stay pushing this Hip-Hop and serving my community like I've been doing for the past 10 years. Like I said the Game is a mutha fucka......get well soon Rico