Thursday, January 2, 2014
I decided to write this after watching a documentary about Black men going to Brazil to find "love" ( or cheap sex take your pick)What I do know is that there is a sad & viscous dynamic between Black men & Black women. Both have been pitted against the other since slavery. During slavery Blacks were breed & a "buck" would impregnate as many women as he could. A male slaves wife could be raped by the master or other White at any time. Centuries of this have damaged Black relationships to this day. Black women have had to become stronger & more independent due to their mates inability to provide & protect them & their off spring. Black men learned to objectify Black women & run from responsibility in the face of situations & circumstances he could not control. The way many Black men have kids with several different women & many seem not to care about the offspring is a byproduct of the Buck mentality when the slave master would force the buck to breed with a female slave & eventually sell off the children. Male slaves had to learn to become detached from his offspring due to the fact his child could be sold off at any time. The Black man has been the direct victim of White Supremacists oppression & over the hundreds of years of this the Black woman has had to become stronger due to the absence of Black male support. Due to systemic racism & oppression Black males cant or have found it hard to become the bread winner or be the "Man" of the house. Over the decades after slavery many Black males have taken their frustration out on Black women in various ways (physical abuse, emotional abuse etc) Black women have developed a defense mechanism towards Black men & this is that attitude many project when dealing with Black men. Successful Black men wish to be treated like the brother in the documentary says "the man he knows he is" Black women perhaps even subconsciously are still in defense mode & still displaying the strength & independence she has needed to survive over the centuries without a man’s full support. Brazilian woman who many are decedents of African slaves also have a different attitude towards men because Brazilian slaves maintained more of their original African culture. American slaves were fully stripped of their culture. Im not making excuses Im just giving my observation of a phenomenon that needs to be fixed. I also recognize that there are a myriad of other influences that effect Black male and female attitudes towards relationships. The women’s liberation and feminist movement and the independent rebellious attitude towards the status quo displayed by many American women in general plays a part in how Black women respond to and treat Black men also. I love Black women but I know how the brothers in the documentary feel. Ive felt like saying F@!$ Black chicks Im ordering Chinese or Italian tonight. Only my incredible strong and deep attraction to Black women have kept me primarily dating Black women. For now I have simply chosen to deal & work through a sisters attitude in hope we can heal each other because I understand when we bump heads most of the time the root cause can be traced to slavery & systemic racism. I refuse to let Willie Lynch, nefarious government agencies and its agents or anyone else break me & the love of American Black women apart. Black men need to recognize the pain Black women feel and recognize we do need to prove ourselves to be a partner who won’t leave them alone to pay rent & raise kids by their selves. Black women need to recognize when they have a good man that is worthy of not only her love but her respect.