Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Fuck trying to be perfect.....

I like many people have a habit of beating my self up. Its amazing all of the negative thoughts we can muster against ourselves. Lately i've been trying to counteract the negative thoughts with positive affirmations. Also ive sat back and reflected on why I am so hard on my self. I am a high achiever. I have high goals set for my self and I hold my self to rediculously high standards. Ive told my self I need to stop doing this. I need to stop holding my self to this "SuperMan" standard. At my age I find it amazing Im continueing to grow. I guess that is a good thing but one kinda thinks that after you've passed 3 decades of existance on Earth you should be in a Swami/Guru all enlightned mind set,then again thats me with that extremely high bar set. I've heard Oprah say she really did'nt have a grip on it all untill she was 42. If thats the case I've got a few years to go before I reach enlightenment. The good thing about the way I push myself is that I keep striving and the work I do do is of high quality.The bad thing is the way I beat my self up when I fumble or fall. Its not that I make the same mistakes persay but lately I've fumbled in areas that I realy should have been more proactive in dealing with. I've fumbled in areas that I know better. Its a trip how life is. All we can do is keep struggling. Keep pushing & continue to grow. I guess if we are lucky we will never stop growing.

1 comment:

  1. There are a lot of grown up kids running around. Sounds to me like you have a very good grip on whats going on with you. If you were perfect you wouldn't be human, just do what you do clearly you on the right path!